Friday, December 11, 2009


More of other people's words today:

Dar Williams, Calling the Moon
The moon wanted more of my night
I turned off the engine and the headlights
The trees appeared as they'd never been gone
I promised the fields I'd return from now on

And the moon kept on rising
I had no more to say
I put my roadmaps away
And surendered the day

And I know you'll be calling me soon
And if I don't answer, I'm calling the moon
Calling the moon, I was calling her then
I'm wondering, will she take me again
Oh, I'm calling the moon

When I called the moon back to me
I thought she wanted my beauty
I shone in the best that vanity buys
I covered the path where my life turned to lies

And the moon kept on rising
But I felt nothing at all
She comes when the empire falls
And shines on crumbling walls

Calling the moon, by the name that she chose
As Tennessee wandered in moth-eaten robes
Oh, I'm calling the moon
Calling the moon
Oh, I'm calling the moon

Oh, make sense of me, night
I can see so much from this cold height
The moon said, "Oh darkness, my work is done
I've poured this bottle of light from the sun

But their anger keeps on rising
And they don't understand
I've shown them all that I can
That the world is at hand

And I know they'll be calling me soon
And if I don't answer I'm only the moon
I can see by her light
This one's going out to the moon tonight
Oh, I'm calling the moon

Calling the moon, 'cause I know what it's worth
To tug at the seas and illumine the earth
Oh I'm calling the moon
Oh I'm calling the moon

Dar Williams and I have been friends for about 7 years now, with the natural ebb and flow that comes between a musician and her fans. I first fell in love with the song Iowa,thanks to a friend who added it to a mixed cd for me some years ago, and have found a consistent string of different songs that hit me at different times in my life. Calling the Moon is one of N's favorites, so there is a twofold connection for me.

I spent much of the day today (as I was intermittently "studying") bringing a loaf of ciabatta to life. Correction: trying to do so. It is difficult without a stone, an incomplete recipe, and the wrong kind of flour. So, it is a learning experience, and hopefully we will have some bread on which we can enjoy apple butter, but I don't think it's one for the books. Though, I will say that, as it cooks downstairs, and the apartment fills with that oh so delightful aroma, it smells like all of the elements are there.

I'm in an odd place this evening. It could be because I just left therapy, and am still in the process mode, or any of a number of other factors, but I'm in a sort of odd emotional space. It's nice to just feel it out and know that it's a good place to be (especially for one who has historically not been sure what to do with her emotions). The dog is sleeping on the sofa, N is out buying cookie, dinner, and origami ingredients, and Cat Stevens is now playing in the background. It's a good night.

The bread is done. While it's not ciabatta, it's nice bread, and was quite tasty with a bit of earth balance smeared on the top. I'm gonna go ahead and draw out the (seemingly) obvious parallel: sometimes our expectations and work go into something with an assurance that we know what we are getting. Then, well, we have to substitute other flour, or compensate for no baking stone, and we get something totally unlike the thing we'd expected and worked for. But, what we get is actually so much better, defying those expectations and filling us with goodness. I will eat my hot bread and call the moon, bringing it back down a notch to the glorious simplicity of this life. yes.

1 comment:

  1. thank you, jess.
    the last paragraph EXACTLY what i needed to read in this moment...
    back to the single life, with a sad heart and at the same time, i'm so okay and filled with goodness. oh life.
    love you!